Amazing story

At the 1994 annual awards dinner given for Forensic Science, AAFS President Dr Don Harper Mills astounded his audience with the legal complications of a bizarre death.

Here is the story.

On March 23, 1994 the medical examiner viewed the body of Ronald Opus and concluded that he died from a shotgun wound to the head. Mr. Opus had jumped from the top of a ten-story building intending to commit suicide. He left a note to the effect indicating his despondency.

As he fell past the ninth floor his life was interrupted by a shotgun blast passing through a window, which killed him instantly. Neither the shooter nor the deceased was aware that a safety net had been installed just below the eighth floor level to protect some building workers and that Ronald Opus would not have been able to complete his suicide the way he had planned.

"Ordinarily," Dr Mills continued, "A person, who sets out to commit suicide and ultimately succeeds, even though the mechanism might not be what he intended, is still defined as committing suicide."

That Mr. Opus was shot on the way to certain death, but probably would not have been successful because of the safety net, caused the medical examiner to feel that he had a homicide on his hands.

In the room on the ninth floor, where the shotgun blast emanated, was occupied by an elderly man and his wife. They were arguing vigorously and he was threatening her with a shotgun. The man was so upset that when he pulled the trigger he completely missed his wife and the pellets went through the window striking Mr. Opus. When one intends to kill subject "A" but kills subject "B" in the attempt, one is guilty of the murder of subject "B."

When confronted with the murder charge the old man and his wife were both adamant and both said that they thought the shotgun was unloaded. The old man said it was a long-standing habit to threaten his wife with the unloaded shotgun. He had no intention to murder her.

Therefore the killing of Mr. Opus appeared to be an accident; that is, if the gun had been accidentally loaded. The continuing investigation turned up a witness who saw the old couple's son loading the shotgun about six weeks prior to the fatal accident.

It transpired that the old lady had cut off her son's financial support and the son, knowing the propensity of his father to use the shotgun threateningly, loaded the gun with the expectation that his father would shoot his mother.

Since the loader of the gun was aware of this, he was guilty of the murder even though he didn't actually pull the trigger. The case now becomes one of murder on the part of the son for the death of Ronald Opus.

Now comes the exquisite twist. Further investigation revealed that the son was, in fact, Ronald Opus. He had become increasingly despondent over the failure of his attempt to engineer his mother's murder. This led him to jump off the ten storey building on March 23rd, only to be killed by a shotgun blast passing through the ninth storey window. The son had actually murdered himself, so the medical examiner closed the case as a suicide.

(A true story from Associated Press, Reported by Kurt Westervelt)

The Reply

Dear Kash,

The questions you put forward, many people ask themselves the same questions. First off, acknowledge that everything that happens is a result of free will- mine, yours and others. Your actions, your feelings, your emotions, they are all your own. Take responsibility for them. Your self-confidence is what matters for you to get ahead in life. Nurture that, and temper it with compassion.

You asked me why I throw the same challenge at you over and over again. I throw it at you till you have completely mastered that challenge. The first time you surmount that challenge, you feel contended for having done it. The second time you face it, you fare even better, and your self-confidence grows. I do this till you no longer see it as a challenge. By repeating one test over and over again, it transcends from being formidable to piffling.

I give you time to rest, and you promptly take up a new challenge. You just don’t want to rest. You thrive on challenges. The only time you feel at peace with yourself is when you are pursuing a goal. You are an achiever. You just don’t want to sit back and enjoy life, and you know that. Happiness is accompanied by guilt; guilt that you are wasting time being happy rather than doing something useful.

The more you suffer, the more your emotional strength. When you are even denied what you justly deserve, that’s when you push yourself even harder, until you find your limits. The more you feel pain, the more immune you become to it. So, as you progress in life, the lesser pains don’t affect you. You are able to concentrate all your energy towards what needs to be done. That’s a very useful thing to be able to do.

It is stupidity to expect things from others. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you- sadly, this applies only to you, not others. It is only when they realize the impact of their actions will they change. In this hectic pace of life, where people look neither around nor back, but only forward, like a horse with tunnel vision, it is not reasonable to wish for that. De-sensitize yourself. Be realistic. Before expecting anything, see what’s in it for them. If they are not feeling rewarded, they won’t do it just for you. And people rarely make amends; they’d rather move on.

No one can handle what they once did. Your past self had a frame of mind to handle certain things. Your present self has the frame of mind to handle different things. Just as you cannot undo what’s already been done, you can’t redo it either. There are no second chances. Live with it. Be at peace with that. Newer challenges will always come your way. The difficulty level of a challenge does not depend on the amount of pain it causes. Each is unique in itself.

You rejoice or cry alone because you do not want to let someone else into your world. This is precisely the reason why you don’t even want a girlfriend. I admit you’ve tried to be more open and been betrayed; so much so that you’ve lost hope. Yet, you will have to let your faith in humanity endure. Let me tell you a story:

A sage gave his disciple an empty sack and a basket of potatoes. He told him to think of all those who had deeply offended him, carve each of their names on a potato, and to carry them around in a sack. The disciple carried the sack, at first, without any difficulty. Soon it started to hamper his movements and the potatoes started rotting, emitting a foul odor.

When you are unable to forgive others, you carry negative feelings with you everywhere. That negativity becomes a burden and festers. So forgive others. People will keep hurting you. The only way to fully avoid this negativity is to relinquish the sack itself. This is the Tao of forgiveness.

Your fate has been handed to you. You cannot do anything about it. It is not up to you to question your fate, but rather, to think of how to handle it now that it has come your way. You cannot change that which has happened. What you can do is extricate yourself from it and fight for what you want. Fight or flight. You are a fighter. You will fight.

If you know what your future holds in store for you, you will become complacent- if the future looks good, or resigned- if it looks bad. You can live in the present only if you don’t know what the future holds. You have an ambition, you work towards it, and step by step you will achieve it. If you have faith in yourself, the future is nothing to worry about.

Love, trust and teamwork are indeed important in today’s world. If you seek them, you will get them. Your rewards depend on the time and effort you put into it.

If you have an inferiority complex, you will strive to quell it. You will work harder to improve yourself, till you no longer feel inferior. It is a driving force, a motivator. Your ideals cause you pain, definitely, but they do not cause you to crumble. Even if you do crumble, you will grow stronger when you rebuild. You destroy something you love, so that you create a better version of it when you re-create it.

Follow your dreams, believe in Karma, forgive yourself and others, have confidence in yourself, be ambitious, fill your heart with love, open your soul to the spiritual world, take success and failure in your stride- you will get to where you want to be. You are what you are and what you are is good.

A Letter to God

Dear God,

I thank you for taking good care of me. I thank you for the chances you gave me to experience your will. I call myself an agnostic. However, I do acknowledge that there are certain things beyond the control of any living being; I’ve experienced those forces, the ones which you alone can invoke and control.

I’m a self-dependent man. I have confidence in myself. Sometimes, I feel like I can fly solo without your guiding hand. I feel like I can handle all of my problems alone and unaided. At these times, you let me try. I meet with varying degrees of success and failures. Soon, I begin to grow more confident and think I can manage alone, come what may.

At these times, you arrange for fate to test my will. The first test is too hard for me. You have to guide me through. You keep testing me. You don’t give up on me. I feel proud that I have passed one of your tests. It takes a lot out of me, but I feel contended to have done it. What I don’t understand is, why do I have to keep repeating them over and over again? It is so painful to endure. Have I not worked hard enough to deserve a rest?

And why am I so unlucky when it comes to having a social life. Why don’t I have a girlfriend? It’s so common to see youngsters my age who are committed. And I’ve lost so many friends, friends whom I valued. I know, I have a huge ego. I do swallow it to make amends when I am wrong. Why don’t they do the same? Am I so unimportant in their life that they just discard me like an old shoe? These questions haunt me at nights. I can’t face them. I run away. Why did you let this all happen? Why, God?

There are times when I feel proud to have come so far, to have handled so much, times when I have looked at my past with pride, and admired myself for the way I handled things. At these times, I also feel a little cowardice; I don’t want to go through those experiences again, I don’t want to battle anymore. I just want to be contended and happy. At the same time, I feel guilt. Guilt that I have grown far too soft now, guilt that I can no longer handle the things that I once handled. I want newer, easier challenges. I’m so confused.

I’m now safely ensconced in my parent’s home. But, my time here is running out. In less than 2 years from now, I have to fend for myself. I’ll have to face the world alone. I’ll need to find a job. I don’t even have any skills to market. What will I do? The current recession will make it all the more hard for me.

The more I think, the more I acknowledge the help that I’ve got in this difficult journey called life. The big breaks, the golden opportunities, all those compliments that I’ve received, all those lives that I’ve touched; I feel good about myself for all that. Contrast those to my feeling of insufficiency, all the times I’ve rejoiced or cried alone, been avoided or ignored by the ones whom I thought of as friends, the stinging bites of my closest allies, the times of strife, the nagging feeling that I was taken advantage of, the subtle undercurrents telling me that I’m not wanted, harsh words telling me that if I were to die the next day, no one would miss me.

Is this what I want? Why should I let my faith in humanity endure? Give me the life of a recluse, I say. Since I don’t get that, I keep fighting. It just isn’t in me to back down or give up, even in an impossible challenge. Will I suddenly be totally overcome and lose big, not able to fight anymore, battle scarred for life. Or will I emerge a victor. I don’t know. Meanwhile, I just keep fighting, hoping and praying for a better tomorrow. When will this tomorrow come?

“No man is an island”- I tried to prove that wrong. I was succeeding, and then came all those great minds to infuse in me the importance of love, trust and teamwork. Without these, they said I couldn’t get ahead in work or in personal life. They were right, so I sought all three. And that’s left me an embittered man. Why do I alone have to face so many challenges? Why can’t fate do a re-distribution? The path mapped out for me is not an easy one.

My passion- writing- is a lonely occupation. It pays no dividends now. The better I become at it, the more time I spend at it, which leaves me feeling alone, hollow and empty, with no one to care for me. Why is my passion not linked to teamwork, that mantra which you hear is the key to success in today’s world.

I have an inferiority complex and a superiority complex combined. The former gnaws me from the inside; the latter is a mere façade which I present to the world. I see so many people who are more realistic and comfortable, and I feel a twinge of envy. I set great store to a set of ideals, which is actually causing me to crumble.

I am not just writing this to tell you I have something to gripe about. I accept whatever fate chances to throw my way. All I want are answers. Why? Why me? You have answered me before when I had similar questions to ask. Merely asking you these questions have made me feel a whole lot better. I no longer need to ponder over these issues. You will provide me the reason. All I have to do is act on them, which is definitely do-able. I know I can depend on you to do the right thing for me. I thank you again for all that you have done for me, for taking the time to listen to me. Thank you, God.

Yours,
Kashyap

The Pursuits of Life

The pursuits of life are actually very simplistic, being nothing more than fulfilling certain needs, trying to attain a state of happiness or peace, or to enhance pleasure. Various models have been proposed to indicate what moves us in life.

MASLOW'S HIERARCHY OF NEEDS

A Theory of Human Motivation proposed by Abraham Maslow states that human needs can be categorized in the form of a pyramid, with the most primitive needs at the bottom.




The fulfillment of our needs starts from the bottom upwards, with the physiological needs being the first priority. It is only when the bottom level needs are satisfied that we even consider moving upwards. Maslow further stated that, once we go beyond a level, we do not devote much importance to that level’s needs, unless they are found to be really lacking.

A more elaborate explanation for this hierarchy of needs can be found here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hierarchy_of_needs

THE HAPPINESS FORMULA

A much simpler model, examining our needs, was proposed by the renowned cartoonist Scott Adams, dubbed The Happiness Formula. The main motivational factor, according to his theory, is happiness. This is not to be confused with hedonism.

The Happiness Formula:
Happiness= Health + Money + Social life + Meaning

Health is the most basic necessity, for ill health is a deterrent to enjoying the pleasures of the other three. Money, or financial security, is another necessity in this civilized world. However, it does not take precedence over health. Given a choice, people would be willing to trade off a little wealth for extra health.

Social life, including love and family life, comes third. Let’s face it, without at least the minimum of affluence, there will be no social life. Meaning can be interpreted in several ways. Briefly, it is that which imparts meaning to your life, something which you believe to be the purpose of your existence. It can be a spiritual quest, a philosophical or religious journey, service to God, nature or humanity et al.

IN HINDU SCRIPTURES

Hindu scriptures also depict the needs of humans, the difference being that the purpose of life is stressed, not just the needs. However, the purpose encompasses the needs. The four aims, as given in the Purusharthas are,

1. Dharma
2. Artha
3. Kama
4. Moksha

Dharma can be loosely translated to mean a virtuous living, upholding values such as truth, non-violence, righteousness and morality. Dharma is in itself a way of life.

Artha refers to material prosperity, the accumulation of wealth. A point to be noted here is, although Hinduism acknowledges and supports the need for accumulating wealth, it condemns greed and amoral ways of wealth gain.

Kama stands for the pleasure of the senses, for the aesthetic enjoyment of life, fulfillment of desire and sexual gratification.

The final aim, Moksha, or salvation, is liberation from the cycle of birth and death. Moksha is not idealistic, as if it was, it would be the first aim and not the last. Moksha is the final stage in life, which starts when a person becomes aware of the limitations of this material life and begins to transcend the physical world.

The Hindu scriptures also divide a person’s life into four stages: Brahmacharya (student life), Grihastha (household life), Vanaprasta (retired life) and Sanyasa (renunciation).
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THE CONCEPT OF HEDONISM

Hedonism is the philosophy that pleasure is the only worthy pursuit in life. That is, all humans try to maximize pleasure and minimize pain. According to this concept, all human actions are guided by self-interest; there is no such thing as altruism or selflessness. Charity, hedonists argue, is not altruistic, since it makes the giver feel good about it, i.e. it is also guided by self-interest, to arouse that feeling.

This concept was, however, successfully disputed by a thought experiment dubbed The Experience Machine. If an experience machine were created which could mimic all the pleasurable feelings a person could possibly want, and if the person is made to feel the experiences as real (not simulated), would that person choose the machine over real life? The answer is an emphatic NO, which destroys the concept of hedonism as the primary pursuit in life.
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THE PLEASURE PRINCIPLE

The pleasure principle, originated by Sigmund Freud, states that a person is driven to continuously seek pleasure and avoid pain. This is driven by the id, ego and super-ego. In a nutshell, the id is the part of the brain which strives to enhance pleasure, without giving a damn about anything else. The super-ego, in contrast to the id, acts as the conscience and represses the nonconforming desires of the id. The ego is the mediator, and takes the more realistic approach.

Freud also says that humans have a life drive and a death drive, which work in direct opposition to each other. The life drive strives to enhance pleasure, by repeating pleasurable acts. The death drive tries to numb the effects of negative feelings and emotions, by constantly repeating them until we no longer fear them. The paradox here is that the most pleasurable state is that which has zero stimulus (neither pleasure nor pain), death.

All of the above models have been the subject of much criticism, and none of them are infallible. Viewed together, they give us an understanding of what we ultimately desire from life.

Imported Content-2

*edited*

This blog post was unfortunately published when I had a good friendship going and so decided to publish X's poems.

ESCAPE

I feel like I'm walking through,
A neverending maze, and
Everytime I turn around
It's just another dead end.

I feel like I'm walking through,
A neverending tunnel, and
Everytime I reach the end,
There's just more darkness.

Take me away, help me escape,
From this prison, this world,
I need some air, I need to fly
I need to get out before it's too late.

I feel like I'm swimming through a neverending ocean
And everytime I swim for land, there's just more water.

I feel like I'm falling into a neverending abyss,
And everytime I try to get out, I just sink in deeper.

Take me away, help me escape,
Open the door and let me out
You hold the key, don't leave me,
Help me escape before it's too late.


NEW BEGINNING

Dew drops on a leaf,
Whispers in the wind,
A silent message nobody understands.

Pure and innocent like a child,
Taking one step at a time,
My life is just beginning.

I'm just starting to explore,
I'm being born once more
I'm trying to crack the code of life,
Unravel all its mysteries
Everything seems new,
My life is just beginning.

A shooting star,
A twinkle in the night sky,
A silent message nobody understands.

Pretty, fragrant, like a rose
I'm ready to bloom
My life is just beginning.

I'm just starting to explore,
I'm being born once more,
I'm trying to crack the code of life,
Unravel all its mysteries
Everything seems new,
My life is just beginning.

Merely reading her poems gives a sense of peace, draining stress and leaving you happy and contended. That's how I feel at any rate.

Comments

Quoting from my previous post, "A Helping Hand?" -> "I have this theory that if a person has ambition, he will come up no matter what caste he is born in, in spite of his financial situation, regardless of physical disabilities."

This year's U.S. presidential election has proved my point. Senator Barack Obama, an African- American, born to estranged parents, has won a landslide victory. What seperated him from the numerous other Afrian- Americans who languish in prisons, do menial chores or just don't come out of regarding themselves as oppressed. It is ambition, the drive to succeed. If you have ambition, the world is your oyster.

I had an intellectually stimulating discussion with my friend regarding my post "Empowerment through knowledge". He said knowledge is not the key, it is experience. I do admit that experience is important, but it is not the key issue. Knowledge can be obtained even by the inexperienced, but for experience to be obtained by them, they must first make a start as a fresher. Choosing between developing knowledge and developing experience, I would say that developing knowledge is more important, as, when we go through life, we will anyway gain experience. Here are a few arguments to support my view:

Venture capitalists fund ideas. They don't look for experience, as long as the idea is marketable and has a reasonable chance of bringing in profits. Ideas stem from creatively analyzing available knowledge.

Quoting from a book I recently read, Working with emotional intelligence- "In the chaotic modern world of work, the sheer volume of data- and the queasy feeling that we are falling behind in tracking it- can be a source of gnawing anxiety. One way to alleviate that anxiety is to monitor relentlessly what's going on, and so reduce the level of uncertainty. Information gathering minimizes unpleasant surprises and maximizes the likelihood of spotting and seizing potential opportunities.

Lastly, knowledge of all sorts helps in the sense that we critically examine whatever knowledge we take in, and even if it doesn't result in any work related benefits, it shapes our view of the environment around us, gives us a talking point in social gatherings, etc. And whereas experience comes naturally, knowledge does not.

I found a supportive view for my other post too, "3 things you need to get yourself a girlfriend." Few girls themselves have posted the following comments in a news article which started that women were attracted to smart men. Here is the link to the article:
ttp://abcnews.go.com/Technology/story?id=5951979&page=1

The comments: "What I do care about is respect, liking yourself enough to care what others think of you (dressing nice), having a plan of what you're doing with your life, so I can figure out whether I want to share it, and someone who likes me for me; all those require brains, not pecs. So stop whining, wash your clothes, grab a shower, shave; try to dress nicely, it doesn't have to be in style, as long as you're comfortable in your own skin."

"I have been with my boyfriend over a year and almost three months. And he isn't really on the "oh my God he's so sexy I wanna date him." When I started talking to him though, that's when I knew he was the one for me. The way he thinks about life and how interested he is in his education, just weirdly enough turns me on."

"I've always considered high intelligence to be extremely sexy. What's more, in my experience, brainier men are, on average, better in bed than the dumb jocks. That's one of the reasons I married one. On the other hand, even a smart man needs to offer a bit more than his intelligence. A badly-groomed, badly-dressed geek who was incapable of conversing on a variety of subjects and who had no interests outside of his work never excited me much. Take it from an Ivy League PhD who prefers brains to brawn: it is entirely possible for a man to be very smart and to present himself in a manner that attracts women, and he doesn't need to be an Adonis."

"I have been with my boyfriend over a year and almost four months. He's not much on the looker, good looking, just not all that.He is from Iowa, and the first thing that caught my eye was his intelligence.It turned me on."

Employability skills

I use the term skills in a very broad way, not just adhering to the actual definition of it. By skills, I mean the competencies a person must exhibit or possess. What factors most in today's job market?

1. Language proficiency
2. Technical expertise
3. Stress resilience
4. Emotional intelligence
5. Developing contacts

Language proficiency is a must. Language is only a medium for communication, but poor language offends many people. It may also make your statements ambiguous. Poor language is a deterrent for advancement in any career.

Technical expertise is obviously necessary. It is the reason for your employment. Technical expertise is your expertise in your chosen field, be it engineering or consulting or training. Caveat: Improvement in this competence alone does not ensure a promotion or better career opportunities.

Stress is a part of every job these days. People who are unable to handle stress lose focus and waste time in non-productive activities. Stress resilience, or a resistance to stress, is therefore a much desired quality, particularly in a dynamically changing job environment.

Emotional intelligence, an emerging concept, is defined by wiki as an ability, capacity, skill or a self-perceived ability, to identify, assess and manage the emotions of one's self, of others and of groups. It is more well-known as soft skills, communication skills, aptitude, leadership qualities etc. The importance of EI is just getting established.

Developing business contacts is important to your career. With the current trend of downsizing here to stay, getting job offers depends on the goodwill and trust you build with your associates. It's not what you know, its who you know. Although that may be an exaggeration, without the right contacts, even with technical expertise, it may be difficult to land a job. When it comes to entrepreneurs, freelancers and consultants, it is even more important.

Above all, you need luck. Luck is generally on the side of those who have done something to deserve it.

Funny Translations

Humour sells. Period. The works of P.G. Wodehouse, all the Laurel and Hardy comics, Dennis the Menace etc. bear testimony to the fact. There is no dearth of humour in TV shows or movies either. One as yet unexplored faction of humour is the English-> Regional language translations.
Ever seen an English movie in Tamil? No matter what movie it is, it will be hilarious!

Go get him!( Avana poi pudinga) LOL!!

The translation of the movie names is mind boggling. Here are a few translations me and my friend discussed:
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull-> Indiana Jonesum manda odu rajjiyamum
Iron Man-> Irumbu manidhan
Spider Man-> Ettu(8) kaal poochi manidhan
Batman-> Vowwal manidhan
Superman-> Arputhamaana manidhan
The Incredible Hulk-> Pachai manidhan
Gossip Girl-> Purali ponnu
One tree hill-> Oru mara malai
Hellboy-> Narakathoda paiyyan
Fantastic Four-> Rombha arbuthamaana naalu peru
Wall-E-> Saeviru-E
Trunk Call-> Munda kooval (Munda meaning body without head aka trunk)
Meet the Parents-> Pettha vangala paarunga
300-> Munnooru
Baby's Day Out-> Kozhandai veliya pora naal
Kindergarden Cop-> LKG policekaaran (this one is really hilarious!)
The Girl Next Door-> Pakkathu veetu ponnu (not bad)
Gone in Sixty Seconds-> Aruvadhu second la kaanaam poidichu (or in chennai tamil, aruvadhu second la apeeeetu machi)
Gone with the Wind-> Kaathoda poidichu
Wonder Woman-> Aschariyamaana penn
My Super Ex-Girlfriend-> Enndo arbuthamaana palaisu kaadhali (My God!)
What Women Want-> Penngalikku enna venum
Cheaper by the Dozen-> Panandu vangina thallubadi
Evil Dead-> Ketta Saavu
The Shutter-> Moodi
The Happening-> Nadakkaradhu
Lady in the Water-> Thannila irukkara penn
Wanted-> Thevaiyanadhu
Get Smart-> Arivaliya maaru
Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines-> Savadhikarapaiyan3: Machinegal endirikaradhu
Chronicles of Narnia-> Narnia odha kadha
Bruce Almighty-> Bruce kadavul
How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days-> Oru paiyyana eppadi pathu naal la thorathividrathu
Honey I shrunk the kids-> Thaenn naan pasanagala chinnada aaki vitein
Pursuit of Happyness-> Santoshatha thoratharadhu
Resident Evil-> Ketta Thangaramanishan
Father of the Bride-> Kalyana ponnoda appa
Catch me if you can-> Pudikka mudinja pudi
The Bucket List-> Vaali pattiyal (Insane!) (or kodam oda porulgal)
Hills Have Eyes-> Malaigalukku kanngal irukku
Jungle Book-> Kaatu pusthagam
The Green Mile-> Pachai mile
The Ladykillers-> Pennkolaikarangal
Total Recall-> Muzhu nyabhagampadteekaradu
The Miracle Worker-> Adhisayapiravi
Homealone-> Veetla thaniya irukkan
The Departed-> Kalambhipoitan
Secondhand Lions-> Rendavadhukaiyyoda singamgal
Blood Diamond-> Rathhathoda vairam
Liar Liar-> poi solran poi solran!
The world is not enough-> Indha ulagam poradhu
True Lies-> Nejamaana poigal
A Beautiful Mind-> Azhagaana moolai
The Grudge-> Andha pazhee
The Last Holiday-> Kadaisee vidumorai
Maid In Manhattan-> Manhattanla irukkara velakaari
The Mummy Returns-> Aatha thirumbi vanthaa
Sleepy Hollow-> Thoongura pallam

In WWE,
Stone Cold-> Kallu Kuluru
Kane(The big red machine)-> Periya segappu machine
Stone Cold's dialogue: And thats the bottomline 'cos stone cold said so-> Apparam adhu dhan keelu codu yenna Kallu kuluru sonnadhu
Brock Lesnar: Here Comes The Pain
In Tamil: Inga varudu valee

A dubbed WWE program is a must watch!!

Best ones are yet to come..
Linkin Park-> Ottra poongavanam
Backstreet Boys-> Pinnadi theru pasanga
Westlife-> Maerku vazhkai

Hope you all had a good laugh! Keep up the high spirits.

A helping hand?

Yesterday I had this argument with my friend on whether bringing up the so-called poor classes was really necessary. According to Darwin's theory of evolution, only the fittest of the species survive and their genes are passed on to the next generation. Thus, our genes are selectively screened and only the useful ones are kept in the gene pool. If we keep giving life support to the people who do not possess this 'survival' gene, won't the poor continue to depend on us and not come up on their own?

Nature has its way of screening. The swift tigers get their prey. Hence, speed is a desirable trait in tigers. Likewise, the swift deers stand a sporting chance of escaping death. This is nature's way of balancing things. The slow tigers die of starvation and the slow deers die an early death. If, suppose, we interfered in this by providing a helping hand to the slow deers and tigers, are we not guilty of not encouraging talent? Breeding animals with this trait will defeat the purpose of evolution.

Some may argue that man is above the other animals, hence the theory of evolution does not hold true for him. But I disagree. Man is a product of evolution.

I have this theory that if a person has ambition, he will come up no matter what caste he is born in, in spite of his financial situation, regardless of physical disabilities. Take Helen Keller for example, she suffered from multiple disabilities. Our ex-president Dr. Abdul Kalam was also not from a very affluent family. And there are so many people from the so-called 'backward classes' who now have a comfortable position in life. If these people could make it, why can't the others? The reason is that the ones who haven't come up don't have the ambition to do so. There are plenty of opportunities, yet these people choose not to take them.

Many people have this flawed concept of altruism. It is not selflessly giving to those in need, it is giving to those who deserve it. Once a poor drunkard, always a poor drunkard. You can't change him even if you give him enough money to start a business. He will spend it on booze, run the business to the ground and stay poor, and also blame you for his failures. Once you start giving, people will try to swindle you by telling you their sob stories, how desperately in need of money they are. The people who ask repeatedly are generally the ones who least deserve it. All the beggars you see on the streets should be discouraged. They are too lazy to work because they get things free, while we have to work for each and every paise we earn. And we pay taxes so that the government can help these people.

A relief camp was set up in Orissa during one of their never ending natural calamities. The first day the victims took refuge there, they were grateful. Soon, they started demanding more. They wanted more money, better living conditions. They start asking as though it is their birthright, 'cos they are 'victims' of a cruel nature. Even a few years down the line, they were still 'recovering'. Why the heck should anyone even lend a helping hand to such people? They should be left to their own devices, even if they starve and die it is good riddance.

The tsunami victims, many of whom were from the poor fishermen community, took the help of the NGOs to rebuild their fishing boats and went back to the same sea that had claimed the lives of many of their kin. These are the people who bounce back from any obstacle that fate throws their way. It is the same case with the earthquake victims in Bhuj. They bounce back. Once they get over their emotional turmoil, they face hard reality and realise that they can either spend their entire lives thinking of themselves as victims to circumstances, or they can rebuild their old life. They make a choice. It is such people who really need the helping hand of society, not all the lazy people who expect things to fall on their plate just because they are poor. For such people, society has always been there to help.

A beggar in front of the India Gate revealed that he earnt Rs. 500/- a day begging. It was a major news article. He even had a bank account. A hardworking labourer earns Rs.100/- a day. That is a big sum for him. He feels proud that he is earning so much and coming up by sheer effort. Say this beggar meets this labourer. He will jeer at him for working so hard and still earning less than him. The labourer quits his job and starts begging. India loses a worker and gains yet another person living on charity. Every coin you toss a beggar demoralises the labourer who feels he is not getting just compensation for his efforts. You are working against the very cause you support by encouraging begging, even more so if it is a child beggar.

Now some wise ass will remark that not all beggars earn Rs. 500/- a day so it is ok to give them money. Do you know that a lot of these beggars are actually people who have escaped from the various welfare or rehabilitation centres set up by the benevolent NGOs? If you ask them why, they will tell you that the conditions there are terrible. In some cases, it is genuinely so. Afterall, corruption has its hold on even the social workers. But most of the time, they escape because the NGOs will put them to work to make them atleast contribute a little towards their keep. They don't want to work. They want things free. So they come to the streets and beg, and by supporting them you undermine the cause of these welfare homes.

Sudhir and Mathi are two students in Class XII. They both work hard and secure 90% in the Board Exam. Sudhir gets his seat in the college and course of his choice. Mathi doesn't. Reason: Sudhir belongs to the backward community whereas Mathi does not. Seeing how the system is against him, although he is equally meritorious, he goes into depression. His parents cannot afford to pay capitation fees to get him into college. His hopes and dreams shattered, he reflects on just how unjust the whole caste system really is. There are many people in India like Mathi. Eventually, they forget and accept our society with all its flaws. But deep down, this injustice rankles. Later on, Sudhir will proudly proclaim that although he was from a backward community, he rose up through sheer merit, and he will produce his mark sheet to bear testimony to his statement. The media will eat up his story and we will believe it. Only Mathi will know the actual truth.

We Indians call our nation as secular, yet we slowly widen the rift between the various castes and religions by our practices. Are we all not guilty of hypocrisy? Looking at the state of our country, where hard work and effort is not rewarded but laziness, lethargy and caste are amply rewarded, can any Indian feel proud about his country?

Empowerment through knowledge

I hold a strong conviction that knowledge is power. Knowledge encompasses not only the knowledge obtained through formal education, but also the knowledge obtained through books, movies, television and social interactions, as well as the intuitive knowledge gained through analysis of data. Knowledge is defined as the psychological result of perception and learning and reasoning.

Formal education is still the core process for the inculcation of knowledge. Infact, a recent survey of economists has shown that education is the key economic issue. An educated society is the first step towards achieving utopia.

Critics often regard subjects such as history, civics, etc., as unnecessary or useless. They argue brilliantly that we don't use this knowledge in our daily lives, hence it is useless to learn it. Most people don't use calculus either, yet that is perceived as important. Subjects like history actually help in shaping the mind of a student. Anyone even remotely familiar with history can see that history tends to repeat itself. WW1 was followed by WW2. Knowledge about what went on in the past will shape the future. It is said that one must experience misery in order to appreciate happiness. Similarly, one has to know the darkness that engulfed humanity in the past in order to strive for a bright and peaceful future.

Books are the main source for knowledge. Fairy tales and children's books influence the perceptions of a child, swaying him into the socially accepted values and developing positive traits. Non-fiction serves the same purpose.

The visualization of books, movies, has currently become a highly influential media for spreading knowledge. People not in the habit of reading books derive their knowledge from watching movies and documentaries. However, since movies don't generally leave much to the imagination, they kill creativity. Creativity stems from imagination. Even then, movies are comparable to books as a source of knowledge.

Humans being social animals, social interactions also play a key role in knowledge assimilation. A healthy debate or discussion deepens our understanding as well as widens the horizon of our perception. The synergistic effects of brainstorming cannot be denied.

Education, media and social interactions are the tools for gaining knowledge. Granted. How does knowledge lead to empowerment?

Take the case of the presidential candidates. What wins the election for them is the ability to convince the voters that they are competent and will make good use of their position of power. Knowledge serves them here. The more knowledgeable and extraverted person has an edge in the polls.

An inventor or scientist comes up with groundbreaking technology by comparing and experimenting with already available knowledge. In these highly specialized fields, knowledge is at a premium and goes a long way towards harnessing the creative energy of the researcher.

Social issues like the empowerment of women in India, abolition of child labour, AIDS awareness are also tackled by providing knowledge because only with knowledge comes empowerment.

So, start collecting knowledge. It empowers you, makes you more confident when you take decisions and best of all, it can never be taken away from you.

Success

Success is getting what you desired after making an all-out effort to achieve it. For some outcome to be a success, it should not be insignificant for the person concerned who views it as a success. Also, an outcome that was brought about sub-consciously is also a success.

Why do people brag about their successes?

1. To impress others- It is human nature to crave attention and recognition. The best way to create a positive impact on a person’s mind is by highlighting your successes.
2. To quell doubts- When a person is suffering from low self-esteem, he will want someone else to tell him what a great person he really is.

Modesty is also not good. If you really have done something great, why do you want to downplay it? The reward for a job well done is recognition. Self-satisfaction can only take you so far. The modest ones crave to be praised for their modesty as well as for their successes!

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People define success in many ways. Success may be taken to mean achieving recognition in a particular field. Fame and fortune may also be taken as a success. According to me, having true friends is the hallmark of success.

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I have tasted the success that comes from the fulfillment of my goals and desires. I have also reveled in the emotions of loving and being loved. In order to be unambiguous, let me define love. In this context, love is the sum total of love from various people in my life. Deeply loving someone gives us courage, which being loved deeply by someone gives us strength. The one person who has both is the only one who has actually been a success.

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Accolades can be given the term material success. They are a point of honor in the current society. Therefore, material success is no doubt necessary, but it is inferior to actual success. Simply put, praise from a close friend or admirer is closer to the heart than an award conferred by a mere acquaintance or stranger.
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There are some deeds for which no medal can be given. Take abstract paintings, for example. They strike a different chord in different people and can therefore not be judged. Maintaining a diary is another example. It serves a purpose only for the writer. A lot can be found out from a person’s diary than from actual interaction with that person.

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Ironically, people who have a lot of support from family and friends don’t realize that is in itself a success. Not everyone has strong support at the home front. It is the ones without this support who actually realize the value of strong support.

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Material success comes to both these kinds of people. But it doesn’t last for the ones who lack support. Such persons will face emotional insecurity at some point of time or the other and will need motivation and encouragement from others, the absence of which will cause their downfall. The ones who do have support will have a lasting material success, while still being a true success. It is this state of affairs that everyone should strive to obtain. Either is easy for any normal person; combined, it is a hard target.

The difficult can be done at once. The impossible just takes a while longer.

Repetition as a way to reach God

I thought of this one morning, sitting in the bus on my way to college. That was several months ago. Atlast, I'm taking the time to fully express my thought.

The title is Repetition as a way to reach God. First, let me clarify what I mean by using the term God. I don't mean God in the sense of religion. Reaching God, meaning bringing us closer to God. I argue that a feeling of contentment and peace brings us closest to God. I can't imagine myself as feeling close to God, when I am, say, ruled by prejudice and resentment. So I start with the presumption that when we have a feeling of contentment and peace, that is when we are closest to God.

Repetition can be the means of achieving this sense of peace and contentment. Generally, people who repeat the same actions day after day are perceived as falling into a rut. This may not, however, be the case with all.

Take the case of a bus driver who plies along the same route day after day, transporting people from one place to another. To a casual observer, he is just repeating the same actions, with no scope for growth and improvement. However, the bus driver may find so many changes in his repetitious act. The very first time he drives along that route, he will be unfamiliar with it. Soon, he will know the route fairly well, and as if by intuition, will know the traffic conditions along that route. He may also notice the several landmarks in his route and other repetitious actions performed along that route, say, the opening of a shop at a specific time. As time progresses, he may expend lesser per cent of his conscious mind in monitoring his actions, only reacting to sudden variations with increased conscious effort. That is, the more he drives, the more mechanical his actions become, and the outsider perceives him to have fallen into a rut.

On the contrary, the bus driver would be doing other things alongwith his mechanical (repetitious) act, thus growing and improving. He may be chatting with the people in his bus, listening to the radio or pondering quietly on his pet topic. His work will give him a sense of satisfaction, generating peace and contentment, thus bringing him closer to God.

To the skeptics, I'll put it this way: Why do people take long drives along country roads for no apparent reason? They do it to clear their minds, feel more at peace with themselves. They do it because they feel more in tune with themselves, and with God.

A blacksmith forges iron on his anvil by repeatedly beating it with his hammer. The process is called tempering. To the untrained eye, it will appear as though he his repeating the same blows over and over again. Ask the blacksmith. He will tell you that each and every blow is unique, that the speed and strength of the blow keeps varying. The blacksmith is in-tune with the metal, he has perfected his skills to such an extent that he intuitively knows how much force he needs to employ. Every successful blacksmith would have learnt by breaking many work pieces, till he learnt how to do it right. Repetition enhances their skills. For one who enjoys his work, the work itself will generate contentment. The blacksmith will thus be in a plane in which he is in perfect harmony with himself, and in harmony with God.

A chant or a mantra is repeated several times. All religions have some sort of sacred words that are repeated, either verbally or in writing. The repetition of these words is a type of bhakti, or a staunch devotion to God. The repetition here is a direct way to reach God.

Why repetition? Why should it be a means? In a world where change is the only constant, is there any room for repetition?

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When we repeat an action, we become better at it. After many repetitions, we will find our attitude towards that action changing. Repetition brings change. Imagine the first time you read your favourite book. Then, when you read it the second time, you would have discovered some new aspect that you missed the first time. The third reading may produce some more changes in your viewpoint of that book. Some movie buffs can watch a movie a lot of times without feeling bored. Why? Each time they watch it, they view it differently. They enjoy the experience.

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If your mind is always occupied with something new, the mind will respond to the challenge by concentrating more on the task at hand till it is completed. Then, the mind switches to focussing on another new task. There is no room for contentment while working. Work will always be a challenge, fill you with energy or motivate you, will occupy your mind and leave no space for contentment to creep in.

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Repetitious actions such as gardening, doing the house work or even taking a bath may provide the contentment. This is why people choose an activity they love to relax after a challenging day at work. Even though they thrive on challenge, they need something to relax, feel contended and at peace.

Imported Content

Update on 04-Jun-09: I lost this person whom I called my friend back then. But rather than take out this blog entry, I'll just let it remain as an anonymous person's wonderful poems.

ALL I WANT

You don't have to buy me roses,
No boxes of chocolates,
No, you don't need to buy me gifts
All I really want
Is for you to-

Be there for me when I am crying in the night,
Hold me close, tell me it will be alright,
Hold my hand when we're walking down the street,
Whisper in my ears, secrets only meant for me,
Kiss me gently, make me melt right in your arms,
Protect me and treasure me, and say
That you love me, thats all I want.

You don't have to leave all your friends
Don't have to leave the things
That you love to do,
All I really want
Is for you to-

Keep me warm when its raining outside,
Call me late at night, just to tell me good night,
Introduce me to your friends, be proud of me,
Whisper in my ears, secrets only meant for me,
Kiss me gently, make me melt right in your arms,
Protect me and treasure me, and say
That you love me, thats all I want.

I don't expect much from you,
Just show me that you'll care, that
You'll cherish me and treat me right,
'Cos all I want from you, is love.

So be there for me when I'm crying in the night,
Hold me close, tell me it will be alright,
Keep me warm when it's raining outside,
Call me late at night, just to tell me good night,
Hold my hand when we're walking down the street,
Introduce me to your friends, be proud of me,
Whisper in my ears, secrets only meant for me,
Kiss me gently and make me melt right in your arms,
Protect me and treasure me, and say
That you love me, thats all I want.

Oh, be there for me, hold me close
Keep me warm, just tell me it will be alright,
'Cos all I really want, is to hear those three words,
And I'll give you my life and my everything,
'Cos all I really want is for you to say
That you love me.

And she thought I should be a critic for it. That's like asking also-rans to criticise the winners.

Here's another one:

HEAD OVER HEELS

There you go again,
With that secretive smile of yours,
You tell me its nothing,
Shake your head and turn away.

My heart skips a beat,
No I can't seem to breathe,
Look what you're doing to me,
I can't even think
My head is back in the clouds again,
And I'm floating in my dreamworld.
Boy you make me crazy about you,
You got me fallin' head over heels for you.

There you go again,
Stealin' looks when you think
I'm not aware
There you go again,
Enjoyin' the effect you have on me,
Makin' me blush and stumble
Whenever you're around.

My heart skips a beat,
No I can't seem to breathe,
Look what you're doing to me,
I can't even speak
My head is back in the clouds again,
You got me floating in my dreamworld again,
Boy you got me goin' crazy about you,
You got me fallin' head over heels for you.

You know how I feel about you,
Everyone knows it, no secret here,
And everytime you look at me,
I know you can feel it too.

There you go again,
My heart skips a beat,
Everytime you hold my hands

There you go again..

My heart skips a beat,
No I can't seem to breathe
Look what you're doing to me,
I can't even sleep
My head is back up in the clouds again,
You got me floating in my dreamworld again,
Boy you got me goin' crazy about you
And you got me fallin'
Fallin' head over heels for you.

*edited on 12-Jun-09*

A Ballad On Love

I wrote a poem recently, after a very long gap. It has actually turned out really well, even if I do say so myself. Here it is:

I love you, girl
I love you
I love you
I love you
I don't know how to tell you this
But I love you.

I want to take you into my arms and kiss you
Whenever we part I want to tell you how much I miss you
I crave to see your raven hair bathed by the twilight sun's rays
I crave to see that angelic smile flit between your sweet lips.

Because I love you girl
I love you
I love you
I love you
I don't know how to tell you this
But I love you so much, my dear.

When I sleep, I hear angels whispering to me in my dreams
Showering their blessings upon me in a heap
In the midst of this paradise I hear your voice calling out to me, softly, softly
I feel your love for me, surreal though this may be.
To sleep, perchance to dream
O! I could live this dream forever.

You know why, girl
Because I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you, girl
And you better know it.

I cannot show you paradise
I cannot offer you sanctuary
I offer you my heart
See how it throbs for you
I need you, girl
Need you by my side
(Ah! Heaven on earth)
I'll take good care of you
Just say yes, say yes... 'cos

I love you, girl
I need you, with me
By my side, always
'Cos I love you, dearly, devoutly
You're the light of my life
The queen of my soul.

Why must I be a fool in love
Why can't I have affairs like everyone else does
How do I let him know that I love him
Without him spurning me at that moment
Oh God, how did I get myself into this mess
Why must I be a fool in love.

Knights of yore, thy tales be told
Resurrect the dormant romance in my man
I yearn for his smile, his touch, his kiss
I could swoon into his arms like damsels of lore.
Alas, romance is dead, and chivalry-
A thing of the past. In these modern times,
I live, a young girl, a romantic fool
Waiting for my knight in shining armour, who
While jousting other knights in the field
In his heart will carry the torch for me.

Where feminism has set in, and women's lib is the thing
I could just go up to him and tell him I love him
But how unladylike that is, not for this young girl waiting to be romanced
If only he would come to me himself.

My, what a nice ballad I've written
If only I could serenade her with it
Oh God, oh joy, what wouldn't I give
To will myself to steer me to sing
Outside her house, by her window.

Thus felt two hearts
Bonded by love
Separated by inhibition
My heart goes out for them
I wish I could help
But I know I can't
Am no Emma Woodhouse, besides
Affairs of the heart are sacred, personal
And in my heart of hearts, I know
That their love will not go unsaid.

I followed the thing to the end
Saw him read Lord Tennyson
In Memoriam-
"I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all."
Taking courage from these words
He donned his coat and left his house
Whither bound I could guess
To his lady's house, The Rose Petals.

My heart leaped and sung with joy
When I beheld him in a stance
Outside her window on the grass.
Drawing a harmonica from his vest
He rendered her song with tune and flair
Oh what a sweet melodious voice had he
That reverberated through the still, silent night.

And she came to the window and watched, stunned
Her knight in shining armour had come.
Is it fate that blesses me thus
Takes my desire from my cusp
To the lands where hearts talk
How great it is, she thinks aloud.

Now it is time for us to leave
Leave the two together alone.
A short courtship followed this
They walked the aisle as man and wife
The story ends as in fairy tales
And they lived happily ever after.

Saying this grandma closed her book
Kissed my forehead and bade goodnight
I closed my eyes and wondered aloud
What else my grandma had in store
I love my grandma, I thought
As my eyes heavy with sleep closed.

Fin.

I like the way I twisted it, using four narrations.

Emotional Blackmail

I read an article in the Deccan Chronicle on emotional blackmail. The article writer advises people not to lose their identity in the face of emotional blackmail. He wants them to re-assess the relationship and remain firm. I disagree.

There was this bit about student A being emotionally blackmailed by student B. Student B said that unless student A called her regularly, atleast once a day, she could not eat. A ignored B, but soon noticed that B had started to lose weight. This is a straightforward form of emotional blackmail. In such cases, I feel it is better for a person in A’s position to accede to the demands. Afterall, she will be helping a person out. If the demands can be met with ease, and if meeting them brings joy to your friend, then why not? However, as a friend you also have to help the other person get over this obsession. You can’t give in endlessly, only until you make the other person understand and help him/her get over you. It may take time, but what are friends for? Maintain the bond even during such hard times and you will find that the bond of friendship only becomes stronger. If you really care for the other person, you will do it for sure. Don’t get irritated. You may view the other person as an inferior, but realize that your decision affects another human being, one who is capable of feeling emotions.

Sure, there are times when you need to put your foot down and say no. That’s when the demands placed on you are unreasonable, highly tasking, compromises your situation in front of your peers or is plainly not to your liking. Also, if this emotional blackmail continues for a long period without any improvement and with no end in sight, then its time to sever the relationship and look out for numero uno- yourself. If not, you may end up jeopardizing your life.

Giving in to emotional blackmail shows how much you care for that person and how far you are willing to go for that person. A mother fussing over her baby is due to emotional blackmail. The baby likes to be fussed over, and makes the mother fuss over it by crying or throwing tantrums. And the mother obliges the baby out of love. When a mother can give in gracefully for the enjoyment of her child, there is no reason why we, as individuals, can’t give in for the sake of someone who has always been a good friend. Everyone goes through emotional trauma and it’s up to their friends to help them out. That’s what friends are for, to share and share alike in everything.

One more thing, make sure that you are not being intimidated by the blackmailer. Whatever you do, it should be out of your own genuine interest in that person. Teenagers go through an identity crisis, which is why they resort to emotional blackmail. When they are unsure of themselves, they tend to cling on to their friends, in order to discover themselves. This is how emotional blackmail begins. They tend to be obsessed over some people, as they see some qualities in that person which they like and want. However, as they fear that they will lose that person, they become clingy and overly possessive. This can be observed in many relationships, especially with couples who are perfectly happy with each other. I have seen guys transcend from being Mr. Cheerful to down-in-the-dumps in the passage of just one day- reason being that they had no contact with their girlfriend. This dependency can lead to emotional blackmail.

Many emotional blackmailers do not realize that what they are doing is wrong. Emotional blackmail is like pulling your friend down with you on a sinking ship. You can’t bear to live without him/her so you decide to take him/her down with you. That is just plain selfishness. This realization comes first. Acceptance comes next. Your friend can live without you- accept it, live with it.

You are obsessed with something you cannot get. It is in your best interest to break that obsession. All it takes is a little will power and some encouragement. The best way to break out of an obsession is by falling for a new one, a new obsession which will completely divert your mind from the old one, similar to breaking an addiction. Try to get addicted to something harmless, say a new game or a few TV programs.

You could also try to get obsessed over something productive, say sports, academics, books etc. Slowly start incorporating this new obsession in your life and you will find the old one starting to fade off. At one point, you will be completely over it. This is somewhat similar to getting over a break-up. Help from the person you are obsessed over and encouragement from friends quickens the process.

Test yourself to see if you are obsessed with something. You may feel that the obsession is beneficial, but you still need to recognize and accept your obsession. If you are unsure whether you are obsessed or not, try staying away from the subject in question for a sufficient period of time and evaluate the results. And above all, do some introspection. It is necessary in order to realize your latent talents and discover deep-rooted or well-hidden emotions.

I wrote this article when I was a few years younger. I admire the clarity of thought I had then. Now, I hardly ever write a few words. This should motivate me to set new expectations for myself.

3 things you need to get yourself a girlfriend

It has been said that behind every man's success there is a woman. But what of a man's success with women. What is the reason for that success. It boils down to three fundamental qualities, which I am about to explain in detail here.

Girls look for three things in their potential life partner- he should be good-looking, serious minded and an entertaining conversationalist.

When I say good looking, I don't mean a chiseled, demi-God like figure. Someone who is appealing to the eye, comports himself well, has a good fashion sense and body language is all that they look for. Girls, unlike guys, don't set much store by external beauty. They appreciate inner beauty more. However, grooming yourself properly for a date shows respect for the girl, something which they look for and value. She shouldn't feel embarrassed to introduce you to her friends. Fashion sense, grooming and proper etiquette will definitely not go unnoticed.

Any social event or gathering revolves around one person or one group of persons, who are what we generally call the life of the party. They entertain you, make you laugh, people drink in every word they say. They are not attention seekers, this comes naturally for them. These people are entertaining conversationalists. Girls would be proud to point out a guy like that and say that he is her boyfriend. However, we all are not born with that gift. Nor can we cultivate it. What we can do is be able to hold a decent conversation, indulge in small talk without feeling nervous, not look at party invitations with apprehension. Meeting strangers should not be an uncomfortable experience.

Money makes the world go around. On evaluating your potential as a life partner, a girl will definitely dwell on whether you have what it takes to be the breadwinner of the family. In other words, she will evaluate how serious minded you are, your level of ambition and your technical expertise in your chosen field. This is the main reason why some girls prefer geeks- financial security above all else. This is also the reason why the class clown, although popular with girls in college, never becomes the most eligible bachelor- lack of ambition can crush your chances more than the lack of the other two qualities.

Girls don't like smoking and boozing either. While these may be tolerated, they will be regarded as bad habits.

While on the topic, I'm posting a poem I wrote entitled Girlfriend:

Girlfriend...
Every teen's desire
But only a few have the pleasure
Of actually having a girlfriend.
The ones who have them
May not always be happy
But the ones who lack them
Are forever unhappy.

A girlfriend
Becomes a reason for living
When all other reasons fail.
She stands resolutely by our side
Unwavering in her love and devotion.
The receiving end of her love
Is where every man wishes to be.

A girlfriend
Changes a man
The way music
Tames a beast
Her smallest wish
Is like a divine request
The work involved
In keeping her contended
Fades into nothingness
When she shares with us
What no other girl can
The sweetest gift known to mankind,
Pure and unadulterated love.

What has bachelorhood to offer
That surpasses a woman's love..

Music and people

I've always felt that people can be classified based on the type of music they listen to. An article I read today has reinforced my point of view. (By the way, did you know that an average person does 56 per cent of the typing using the left hand). Pop lovers are generally immature, shy young teens. Some are neither shy nor immature, but are emotionally confused. The transition from pop to rock shows that the person is slowly maturing. Now when I say maturing, I mean it in the emotional sense. And also a change in the way of thinking. A change in attitude.

Rap (Hip-hop) lovers are quiet in real life. They don't like any manifestation of aggression, but love it in a song. Generally, they are also a peace-loving lot. The rap lovers in other countries are different.

Heavy metal lovers are the right opposite of the rap lovers. You would instantly associate heavy metal with bikers- speed, adrenalin, aggression, attitude, daredevilry. A heavy metal fan will be crazy about these. Also, you may find hardcore fans of this genre having a passion for Beethoven and Mozart, or for the classical soft music. The two extremes seem to attract somehow.

Now I'm not saying that people won't like both rap and rock, or heavy metal and pop. The people who happen to like two or three genre's equally will possess traits exhibited by fans of all those genre. Based on your mood too, your preferences can change. For instance, when you are angry or upset, you may prefer rap. When you are having a tiring day, a heavy metal song may revitalize you and keep you going. And for a relaxing evening at home, a soothing pop record may be just the thing. Different kinds of music will have different kinds of effects.

I don't think I classify as a music lover. I can go for days, even weeks, listening to the sounds of silence. It is interesting to note that highly creative people prefer to do their work in quiet solitude.

Having stated only the general case, that too from my (perhaps) flawed perception, I am sure there will be many exceptions. Some people like only instrumental music, these are usually the deep intellectuals. Music strikes a different chord in different people. The best that can be said about it is that it is always there- in nature, in religion, in our soul.

Another day, another poem

I personally don't think my poems are much good, and I'm sure many will think likewise, but I still keep at it, trying to improve. I can't gauge the improvement so its upto you readers to do that. I'm going to post my 11th poem, one which I wrote in the month of March.

A TALE OF FRIENDSHIP

It started out as it always does
With a simple Hi
Face to face, making eye contact
And all the discomfiture at meeting a stranger
Just melted away, being replaced with
I-wanna-get-to-know-you-better.

Some may call it chemistry, I wouldn't know
I always thought that's for love at first sight
This wasn't love, not that kind of love
More of a closeness, purely platonic
And it all happened, just like that
We looked at each other, without blinking.

When we were alone, the words flowed
We shared our tales- our past, present-
And plans for the future.
A future which now included me and her, together
A few skeletons though, were still kept in the closet
For, after all, this was our first time together.

Dusk turned to twilight, and twilight to night
And still we talked, well into the night
Till the early hours of dawn did we talk.
Never, in all these years of life
Have I felt like I did that night
I saw myself, through her eyes, for what I was.

What I saw, delighted me
For I was ashamed of what I'd done in the past
Things that happen due to the interplay of adolescence and hormones.
She took it without batting an eyelid
And revealed to me her deepest, darkest secrets
Now it was her turn to watch my reaction.

Inside, I was deeply moved
Somehow, her troubles seemed greater than mine
Outwardly, I was calm and told her not to worry about it.
I could visibly see her relax, the tension leaving her body
I looked into her eyes, and we signed an unspoken pact
To never ever bring up this topic again.

Ironically, our worst memories sealed our friendship
Everything has a way of redeeming itself
Our friendship continues, to this day
Through hills and ravines, joy and sorrow
Although we may move on in life
Some things will always remain the same.

I am my own worst critic. Even when I really mess up, my friends always say I didn't. Few lines in this are extremely stupid. This one for instance:
"I could visibly see her relax, the tension leaving her body."
I just write what comes to my mind. I would also like to give a disclaimer that I wasn't thinking of anyone in particular when I wrote that, but I can't. I was thinking of someone in particular, but this poem is very loosely based on reality, its mostly my imagination at work. This one is my second last poem. When compared to the first, I realize how much I've slipped. Oh well.

Quote for the day: It is a mistake to try to look too far ahead, for the chain of destiny can only be grasped one link at a time.- Winston Churchill

This and that

I just logged into my orkut account after a long time, and I found this:
Today's fortune: You will always have good luck in your personal affairs.
If I will always have good luck, then why is it today's fortune. Somebody goofed.

I've been going through a lot of song lyrics and am wondering how these songwriters get their inspiration. What does it take to write a song which will impress millions. The qualities that I perceive will make a good songwriter are:

1. Creativity and inspiration
2. A passion for music (Yes, its necessary. Indeed this is what seperates poets from lyricists).
3. Acceptance of criticism-> Your audience makes you a star. You need to cater to their whims and fancies else you are a nobody.
4. Perseverance-> Your first 99 songs may fail to grab the audience, your 100th song may. Have to keep at it till you get somewhere.
5. Self- confidence-> Songwriting is a risky career path. Anyday, anytime, you may be usurped by a more talented person. It takes a lot of confidence to hold your own against the stream of amateur talent entering this field every day.

There may be more, I wouldn't know. Paulo Coelho used to be a songwriter before he became a bestselling author. Are these two career paths related? Both require a high amount of creativity. Actually, an author too requires all of the above, except the passion for music. But in general, highly creative people are also appreciative of music.

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Here's one of my earliest philosophies: Some people mean a lot to us. Others, not so much. If the people who matter reciprocate the feeling, then all is well. The problem arises when they don't really need us around. It is then that we try hard to win their friendship and trust. In some cases, such attempts may succeed, sometimes we may fail too. It is incumbent for every man to place such failures behind him and move on, to rise to greater heights. For, as we stand on the pedestal of success, we will realize that these little failures are but the paving stones which adorn the pathway to success.

Of games, and of gamers

Gaming is a big industry globally. In India too, it has taken root. The penetration of gaming is not due to promos, ads or other corporate gimmicks, but due to- yep, you guessed right if you thought of easy availability and low cost- piracy. So all hail piracy for making Diablo, PoP, GTA and other legends a household name. The idea of paying for a game is revolting for many Indians. Why? We, mostly due to our parents' attitude, have started thinking along the lines of why pay for it when I can rather get it for free. So what happens, a rich, hardcore gamer buys a game and all his friends just copy it, or worse, one guy gets a pirated version and all copy from that! Where does that leave us? With the big corporations who spend millions of man hours and dollars in game development deprived of their rightful earnings, their quality of R&D goes down and in the end the loser is none other than- yea, us gamers. The rate of advancement is low, and we settle for mediocre improvements.

A new category of games, one which has really popularized gaming of late, converted non- gamers into gaming addicts, is the Role Playing Game(RPGs). When we think of this genre, the first game which comes to our mind is Diablo, the brainchild of Blizzard Entertainment, who continue to dominate in this field with their World Of Warcraft. The MMORPGs (Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Games) further popularized this field of gaming- Everquest, Ragnarok Online, World of Warcraft, ROSE (Rush On Seven Episodes) Online- these are the names that spring to the mind. I confess myself to be a hardcore fan of Ragnarok Online, the first MMO I set my eyes on. And the fact that it had an Indian server mainly contributed to my retention. Tribute to Level Up Games! India for this.

DotA. How can any mention about gaming be complete without a mention about this game. There is only one word to be said about this game- addictive! Bottomline: If you call yourself a gamer, you are really missing out on something if you haven't explored this game. DotA is actually ONE map in Warcraft 3: The Frozen Throne. Yet, it has a huge fan following. You have to literally think on your feet while playing this game, else you are owned.

Then, there are the gamers, who make a more interesting study than the games themselves. And the best subject for my study has been, myself. I find gamers, collectively, to be a very intelligent and talented lot. Yea, am praising myself too, lol. Seriously though, I get the feeling that the guys whom I am casually playing or chatting with, will one day be billing for their time, big shots heading corporates, people changing the economic face of many nations. A few socially inept people get their first taste of respect, companionship and leadership in multiplayer games. Such individuals grow more confident and may one day become world-class leaders. And for that, they will thank their interest in gaming- something which their parents spurned and viewed with disgust.

What makes gamers a breed apart? Gaming taps into a lot of hidden potential, something which the conventional methods don't. Books can give you perspective, movies lend visualization, writing encourages creativity, sports develop sportsmanship, sculptures and paintings trigger aesthetic appeal- now all that rolled into one is a good game. No wonder, then, that gamers are a breed apart. Here's something else to chew on: all geeks love games.

Here's to all you gamers out there!! Cheers!!

My 2 cents

Two days ago, I attended a (supposedly) interactive session on Entrepreneurship Development held by the MBA dept. of my college. I thoroughly liked the seminar, but I am not in agreement with a few things mentioned.

An anecdote one of the lecturers mentioned was: A youth was making his living by catching 50 fish a day with an old and tattered net in a small pond. He completed his catch and made his day's earnings in just a couple of hours, taking the rest of the day off. A wise man came up to him and beckoned the youth to accompany him to the bank, where he would help him avail a loan for buying a better net. The youth asked him why he would need a better net, since his old one was serving the job quite well, to which the wise man replied that the youth could catch more fish with that and more efficiently too. Eventually, he could cast more nets, catch more fish, save up to buy a trawler and take to the seas. The youth asked him, "What then?" The wise man replied that he could recruit fishermen for doing the actual work and sit back and relax. "Isn't that what I am doing right now? Why go through all that eventually relax when I can jolly well do that right now?", was the youth's reply.

The lecturer told the youth that he did not have what it took to be a successful entrepreneur, and that if we all were to think that way, we would never be successful.

I disagree. People tend to think that growth and expansion is the only form of development. If the youth had looked for growth like the wise man suggested, here is the scenario that I predict would have happened. The youth would have availed a loan and bought a better net. In order to pay off his loan, he would have caught more fish every day. Due to this indiscriminate fishing, the fish population would have kept dwindling, eventually coming down to zero. The youth would now be minus his livelihood, with a loan on his head. Or if he had managed to pay off his loan, he would be left with no means to earn his daily bread. There is such a thing as development, and such a thing as sustainable development. You can't toy with nature and get away with it. Mining is a prime example for that.

Another point of discontention was: 5% of the people are entrepreneurs, the other 95% being workers. The workers do the same thing day after day, repeating the same acts, not looking for growth, not looking for development, in a rut. The entrepreneurs are dynamic people of action, with ambition and vision, always welcoming change- great thinkers who change the face of society.

I would like to point out that the workers are the ones who cause the change, the entrepreneurs merely promote it and provide a congenial environment for the workers. The success of a space shuttle is in the hands of the many thousands of faceless engineers who are involved in the intricate plans and details concerning it, not the CEO of the space agency. It is only the credit that goes to the CEO. Bill Gates may now be an entrepreneur, but he was a programmer when he started Microsoft.

And finally, one lecturer on money management asked the audience if anyone dared to say that they don't need money. He went on to say that everybody needs money.

True, we need money. But it's not that every single person in this world does. Tribals living in the forest feel no need for it. Indeed, they have lived for generations without money. Can anyone dare to say that Mother Teresa needs money to survive, if she was currently alive? Does The Mahatma need money? The lecturer's statement was reckless.

And thus, I end my post.

My First Poem

It's been a while since I last blogged, I know. Didn't have the PC for 10 days due to a problem in the hard drive and the procrastination of the AMC people. Anyways, am back. I am a bit busy of late; I don't have the time to construct a new post at the moment, so will just type out the first poem I ever wrote. Yes! I regard myself as a poet. I was reading one guy's blog and he had posted a few poems. I felt so moved on reading them, I started wishing that I could also be so good. It seems to have been on my sub-conscious mind 'cos one fine day, after coming home from college and spending a quiet evening at home, the verses started to flow and I ended up with a beautiful poem, even if I do say so myself. Here it is:

Can't live without you,
Can't live with you
Tried living for you,
Tried living forgetting you
Both are hurting me
But the latter,
Not so much
As the former.

It would but take a spare minute
For you to ensnare me
As you did before
And make me a slave
To your charms
Yet again.

But,
No matter how you treat me
Deep down I know
This ain't working out
(Oh no it ain't!)

So I shun your company
To save myself the pain
Which when parting from you
I must mournfully endure.

The pain..
The pain...
On which I thrive
Without it
I am not who I am
And with it
I will not be who I used to be
I evolve
This is what a broken relationship does to me.
But this time,
It is due to a shattered friendship
A friendship which eroded away in the desert wind
And which you successfully drowned in the seven seas
But it ain't totally dead yet
(Oh no it ain't!)
An ember still remains
Buried with the other rubble
In the bottom of my lovesick aching lonely heart.

Some say my later poems are even better, but this being my first, it always has a soft corner in my heart.

The 4 Stages Of Development

In my view, there are 4 stages which contribute to the overall development of a person. The first stage, which happens in early childhood, is mental development. Children are naturally agile and flexible, so their high level of physical activity should not be taken to mean they are developing physically. As a matter of fact, their activity deteriorates at this stage. At this stage, they grow mentally, becoming more creative and imaginative.

The next stage is physical development. This happens in late childhood, starting from, or a little before, puberty. A passion for sports exhibited by the children in high school clearly support this view. Children at this stage are all for outdoor activities. They imbibe the qualities of sportsmanship and bond with their peers.

In normal households, where a child is shown a lot of love and care, the child views the world through rose-coloured goggles. She grows up unaware of all the trials and tribulations life holds in store. During adolescence, this view of the world is shattered and the child faces a myriad of emotions. This is the third stage- emotional development. It is during adolescence period that many children undergo the illusion of love, understand the value of friendship and start to cherish their memories.

The final stage, which never ends, is social development. For elite few, this stage begins in high school. For most, this begins only in college, and in a few rare cases, well after college. The child learns to integrate herself with the society she once feared or distrusted.

This is how I view development. Point to be noted here is, I am not saying that only one of these stages will be in existence at any given time. It's just that only one of these stages will predominate while all the other 3 co-exist.

Exceptions: There are the so-called geeks and nerds who never get around to stage 2- physical development and stage 4- social development. They do develop a lot emotionally, much more than their extroverted counterparts. Also, their mental development far surpasses that of an average human being at their age.

A more common exception are the people who just skip stage 2- physical development and get into stage 3 and 4 ahead of their peers. These are the intellectuals who give the geeks and nerds a run for their money and yet, are the life of any social event or party.

Yet another exception that I have come across are the professional sportspersons. They are social, they are intelligent, and they are physically fit. However, they lack in emotional development. Gunning for tangible rewards all the time, they fail to see the intangible rewards in life and develop an appreciation for them.

Due to the advent of video gaming, outdoor activities are all but forgotten. Some kids just spend all their time indoors, and never delve into the physical development stage. Also, some schools neglect the children's physical development, by not providing sufficient time or space for physical training. However, now that people are more health-conscious, training facilities have sprung up and they are thronged by many who missed out on physical development in their childhood.

My First Blog Entry

I am not introducing myself, as I don't think anyone except me and my close friends are going to view this blog. Suffice to say that am an engineering student who feels that he possesses a lot of creative energy which he needs to unleash upon the world. This blog is to be one of my (many) creativity outlets. This is not going to be my journal or my diary, rather it will contain my thoughts, emotions and musings.

I got the idea of starting my own blog way back in June '08, but it is only today that I have felt the urge to actually create one. Having once stepped into the field, I will dedicatedly blog. Actually, I like reading a lot, and I have read quite a few blogs, mostly my friends' and this is why I felt like starting my own blog. Ok, enough with the introductions and on with the real post.

I pride myself on being an introvert. No one can break my shell and get to know the real me. What I project of myself to the outside world, is but the tip of the iceberg. No man is an island unto himself, or so the old saying goes. I have tried to prove it to be possible. I like being alone. I like company too, but not at all times. I love working alone. That doesn't make me less productive while in a group. I could go on and on, but I have to wrap this post up now due to time limitations.

I'll be back.