3 things you need to get yourself a girlfriend

It has been said that behind every man's success there is a woman. But what of a man's success with women. What is the reason for that success. It boils down to three fundamental qualities, which I am about to explain in detail here.

Girls look for three things in their potential life partner- he should be good-looking, serious minded and an entertaining conversationalist.

When I say good looking, I don't mean a chiseled, demi-God like figure. Someone who is appealing to the eye, comports himself well, has a good fashion sense and body language is all that they look for. Girls, unlike guys, don't set much store by external beauty. They appreciate inner beauty more. However, grooming yourself properly for a date shows respect for the girl, something which they look for and value. She shouldn't feel embarrassed to introduce you to her friends. Fashion sense, grooming and proper etiquette will definitely not go unnoticed.

Any social event or gathering revolves around one person or one group of persons, who are what we generally call the life of the party. They entertain you, make you laugh, people drink in every word they say. They are not attention seekers, this comes naturally for them. These people are entertaining conversationalists. Girls would be proud to point out a guy like that and say that he is her boyfriend. However, we all are not born with that gift. Nor can we cultivate it. What we can do is be able to hold a decent conversation, indulge in small talk without feeling nervous, not look at party invitations with apprehension. Meeting strangers should not be an uncomfortable experience.

Money makes the world go around. On evaluating your potential as a life partner, a girl will definitely dwell on whether you have what it takes to be the breadwinner of the family. In other words, she will evaluate how serious minded you are, your level of ambition and your technical expertise in your chosen field. This is the main reason why some girls prefer geeks- financial security above all else. This is also the reason why the class clown, although popular with girls in college, never becomes the most eligible bachelor- lack of ambition can crush your chances more than the lack of the other two qualities.

Girls don't like smoking and boozing either. While these may be tolerated, they will be regarded as bad habits.

While on the topic, I'm posting a poem I wrote entitled Girlfriend:

Girlfriend...
Every teen's desire
But only a few have the pleasure
Of actually having a girlfriend.
The ones who have them
May not always be happy
But the ones who lack them
Are forever unhappy.

A girlfriend
Becomes a reason for living
When all other reasons fail.
She stands resolutely by our side
Unwavering in her love and devotion.
The receiving end of her love
Is where every man wishes to be.

A girlfriend
Changes a man
The way music
Tames a beast
Her smallest wish
Is like a divine request
The work involved
In keeping her contended
Fades into nothingness
When she shares with us
What no other girl can
The sweetest gift known to mankind,
Pure and unadulterated love.

What has bachelorhood to offer
That surpasses a woman's love..

Music and people

I've always felt that people can be classified based on the type of music they listen to. An article I read today has reinforced my point of view. (By the way, did you know that an average person does 56 per cent of the typing using the left hand). Pop lovers are generally immature, shy young teens. Some are neither shy nor immature, but are emotionally confused. The transition from pop to rock shows that the person is slowly maturing. Now when I say maturing, I mean it in the emotional sense. And also a change in the way of thinking. A change in attitude.

Rap (Hip-hop) lovers are quiet in real life. They don't like any manifestation of aggression, but love it in a song. Generally, they are also a peace-loving lot. The rap lovers in other countries are different.

Heavy metal lovers are the right opposite of the rap lovers. You would instantly associate heavy metal with bikers- speed, adrenalin, aggression, attitude, daredevilry. A heavy metal fan will be crazy about these. Also, you may find hardcore fans of this genre having a passion for Beethoven and Mozart, or for the classical soft music. The two extremes seem to attract somehow.

Now I'm not saying that people won't like both rap and rock, or heavy metal and pop. The people who happen to like two or three genre's equally will possess traits exhibited by fans of all those genre. Based on your mood too, your preferences can change. For instance, when you are angry or upset, you may prefer rap. When you are having a tiring day, a heavy metal song may revitalize you and keep you going. And for a relaxing evening at home, a soothing pop record may be just the thing. Different kinds of music will have different kinds of effects.

I don't think I classify as a music lover. I can go for days, even weeks, listening to the sounds of silence. It is interesting to note that highly creative people prefer to do their work in quiet solitude.

Having stated only the general case, that too from my (perhaps) flawed perception, I am sure there will be many exceptions. Some people like only instrumental music, these are usually the deep intellectuals. Music strikes a different chord in different people. The best that can be said about it is that it is always there- in nature, in religion, in our soul.

Another day, another poem

I personally don't think my poems are much good, and I'm sure many will think likewise, but I still keep at it, trying to improve. I can't gauge the improvement so its upto you readers to do that. I'm going to post my 11th poem, one which I wrote in the month of March.

A TALE OF FRIENDSHIP

It started out as it always does
With a simple Hi
Face to face, making eye contact
And all the discomfiture at meeting a stranger
Just melted away, being replaced with
I-wanna-get-to-know-you-better.

Some may call it chemistry, I wouldn't know
I always thought that's for love at first sight
This wasn't love, not that kind of love
More of a closeness, purely platonic
And it all happened, just like that
We looked at each other, without blinking.

When we were alone, the words flowed
We shared our tales- our past, present-
And plans for the future.
A future which now included me and her, together
A few skeletons though, were still kept in the closet
For, after all, this was our first time together.

Dusk turned to twilight, and twilight to night
And still we talked, well into the night
Till the early hours of dawn did we talk.
Never, in all these years of life
Have I felt like I did that night
I saw myself, through her eyes, for what I was.

What I saw, delighted me
For I was ashamed of what I'd done in the past
Things that happen due to the interplay of adolescence and hormones.
She took it without batting an eyelid
And revealed to me her deepest, darkest secrets
Now it was her turn to watch my reaction.

Inside, I was deeply moved
Somehow, her troubles seemed greater than mine
Outwardly, I was calm and told her not to worry about it.
I could visibly see her relax, the tension leaving her body
I looked into her eyes, and we signed an unspoken pact
To never ever bring up this topic again.

Ironically, our worst memories sealed our friendship
Everything has a way of redeeming itself
Our friendship continues, to this day
Through hills and ravines, joy and sorrow
Although we may move on in life
Some things will always remain the same.

I am my own worst critic. Even when I really mess up, my friends always say I didn't. Few lines in this are extremely stupid. This one for instance:
"I could visibly see her relax, the tension leaving her body."
I just write what comes to my mind. I would also like to give a disclaimer that I wasn't thinking of anyone in particular when I wrote that, but I can't. I was thinking of someone in particular, but this poem is very loosely based on reality, its mostly my imagination at work. This one is my second last poem. When compared to the first, I realize how much I've slipped. Oh well.

Quote for the day: It is a mistake to try to look too far ahead, for the chain of destiny can only be grasped one link at a time.- Winston Churchill

This and that

I just logged into my orkut account after a long time, and I found this:
Today's fortune: You will always have good luck in your personal affairs.
If I will always have good luck, then why is it today's fortune. Somebody goofed.

I've been going through a lot of song lyrics and am wondering how these songwriters get their inspiration. What does it take to write a song which will impress millions. The qualities that I perceive will make a good songwriter are:

1. Creativity and inspiration
2. A passion for music (Yes, its necessary. Indeed this is what seperates poets from lyricists).
3. Acceptance of criticism-> Your audience makes you a star. You need to cater to their whims and fancies else you are a nobody.
4. Perseverance-> Your first 99 songs may fail to grab the audience, your 100th song may. Have to keep at it till you get somewhere.
5. Self- confidence-> Songwriting is a risky career path. Anyday, anytime, you may be usurped by a more talented person. It takes a lot of confidence to hold your own against the stream of amateur talent entering this field every day.

There may be more, I wouldn't know. Paulo Coelho used to be a songwriter before he became a bestselling author. Are these two career paths related? Both require a high amount of creativity. Actually, an author too requires all of the above, except the passion for music. But in general, highly creative people are also appreciative of music.

.

Here's one of my earliest philosophies: Some people mean a lot to us. Others, not so much. If the people who matter reciprocate the feeling, then all is well. The problem arises when they don't really need us around. It is then that we try hard to win their friendship and trust. In some cases, such attempts may succeed, sometimes we may fail too. It is incumbent for every man to place such failures behind him and move on, to rise to greater heights. For, as we stand on the pedestal of success, we will realize that these little failures are but the paving stones which adorn the pathway to success.

Of games, and of gamers

Gaming is a big industry globally. In India too, it has taken root. The penetration of gaming is not due to promos, ads or other corporate gimmicks, but due to- yep, you guessed right if you thought of easy availability and low cost- piracy. So all hail piracy for making Diablo, PoP, GTA and other legends a household name. The idea of paying for a game is revolting for many Indians. Why? We, mostly due to our parents' attitude, have started thinking along the lines of why pay for it when I can rather get it for free. So what happens, a rich, hardcore gamer buys a game and all his friends just copy it, or worse, one guy gets a pirated version and all copy from that! Where does that leave us? With the big corporations who spend millions of man hours and dollars in game development deprived of their rightful earnings, their quality of R&D goes down and in the end the loser is none other than- yea, us gamers. The rate of advancement is low, and we settle for mediocre improvements.

A new category of games, one which has really popularized gaming of late, converted non- gamers into gaming addicts, is the Role Playing Game(RPGs). When we think of this genre, the first game which comes to our mind is Diablo, the brainchild of Blizzard Entertainment, who continue to dominate in this field with their World Of Warcraft. The MMORPGs (Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Games) further popularized this field of gaming- Everquest, Ragnarok Online, World of Warcraft, ROSE (Rush On Seven Episodes) Online- these are the names that spring to the mind. I confess myself to be a hardcore fan of Ragnarok Online, the first MMO I set my eyes on. And the fact that it had an Indian server mainly contributed to my retention. Tribute to Level Up Games! India for this.

DotA. How can any mention about gaming be complete without a mention about this game. There is only one word to be said about this game- addictive! Bottomline: If you call yourself a gamer, you are really missing out on something if you haven't explored this game. DotA is actually ONE map in Warcraft 3: The Frozen Throne. Yet, it has a huge fan following. You have to literally think on your feet while playing this game, else you are owned.

Then, there are the gamers, who make a more interesting study than the games themselves. And the best subject for my study has been, myself. I find gamers, collectively, to be a very intelligent and talented lot. Yea, am praising myself too, lol. Seriously though, I get the feeling that the guys whom I am casually playing or chatting with, will one day be billing for their time, big shots heading corporates, people changing the economic face of many nations. A few socially inept people get their first taste of respect, companionship and leadership in multiplayer games. Such individuals grow more confident and may one day become world-class leaders. And for that, they will thank their interest in gaming- something which their parents spurned and viewed with disgust.

What makes gamers a breed apart? Gaming taps into a lot of hidden potential, something which the conventional methods don't. Books can give you perspective, movies lend visualization, writing encourages creativity, sports develop sportsmanship, sculptures and paintings trigger aesthetic appeal- now all that rolled into one is a good game. No wonder, then, that gamers are a breed apart. Here's something else to chew on: all geeks love games.

Here's to all you gamers out there!! Cheers!!

My 2 cents

Two days ago, I attended a (supposedly) interactive session on Entrepreneurship Development held by the MBA dept. of my college. I thoroughly liked the seminar, but I am not in agreement with a few things mentioned.

An anecdote one of the lecturers mentioned was: A youth was making his living by catching 50 fish a day with an old and tattered net in a small pond. He completed his catch and made his day's earnings in just a couple of hours, taking the rest of the day off. A wise man came up to him and beckoned the youth to accompany him to the bank, where he would help him avail a loan for buying a better net. The youth asked him why he would need a better net, since his old one was serving the job quite well, to which the wise man replied that the youth could catch more fish with that and more efficiently too. Eventually, he could cast more nets, catch more fish, save up to buy a trawler and take to the seas. The youth asked him, "What then?" The wise man replied that he could recruit fishermen for doing the actual work and sit back and relax. "Isn't that what I am doing right now? Why go through all that eventually relax when I can jolly well do that right now?", was the youth's reply.

The lecturer told the youth that he did not have what it took to be a successful entrepreneur, and that if we all were to think that way, we would never be successful.

I disagree. People tend to think that growth and expansion is the only form of development. If the youth had looked for growth like the wise man suggested, here is the scenario that I predict would have happened. The youth would have availed a loan and bought a better net. In order to pay off his loan, he would have caught more fish every day. Due to this indiscriminate fishing, the fish population would have kept dwindling, eventually coming down to zero. The youth would now be minus his livelihood, with a loan on his head. Or if he had managed to pay off his loan, he would be left with no means to earn his daily bread. There is such a thing as development, and such a thing as sustainable development. You can't toy with nature and get away with it. Mining is a prime example for that.

Another point of discontention was: 5% of the people are entrepreneurs, the other 95% being workers. The workers do the same thing day after day, repeating the same acts, not looking for growth, not looking for development, in a rut. The entrepreneurs are dynamic people of action, with ambition and vision, always welcoming change- great thinkers who change the face of society.

I would like to point out that the workers are the ones who cause the change, the entrepreneurs merely promote it and provide a congenial environment for the workers. The success of a space shuttle is in the hands of the many thousands of faceless engineers who are involved in the intricate plans and details concerning it, not the CEO of the space agency. It is only the credit that goes to the CEO. Bill Gates may now be an entrepreneur, but he was a programmer when he started Microsoft.

And finally, one lecturer on money management asked the audience if anyone dared to say that they don't need money. He went on to say that everybody needs money.

True, we need money. But it's not that every single person in this world does. Tribals living in the forest feel no need for it. Indeed, they have lived for generations without money. Can anyone dare to say that Mother Teresa needs money to survive, if she was currently alive? Does The Mahatma need money? The lecturer's statement was reckless.

And thus, I end my post.

My First Poem

It's been a while since I last blogged, I know. Didn't have the PC for 10 days due to a problem in the hard drive and the procrastination of the AMC people. Anyways, am back. I am a bit busy of late; I don't have the time to construct a new post at the moment, so will just type out the first poem I ever wrote. Yes! I regard myself as a poet. I was reading one guy's blog and he had posted a few poems. I felt so moved on reading them, I started wishing that I could also be so good. It seems to have been on my sub-conscious mind 'cos one fine day, after coming home from college and spending a quiet evening at home, the verses started to flow and I ended up with a beautiful poem, even if I do say so myself. Here it is:

Can't live without you,
Can't live with you
Tried living for you,
Tried living forgetting you
Both are hurting me
But the latter,
Not so much
As the former.

It would but take a spare minute
For you to ensnare me
As you did before
And make me a slave
To your charms
Yet again.

But,
No matter how you treat me
Deep down I know
This ain't working out
(Oh no it ain't!)

So I shun your company
To save myself the pain
Which when parting from you
I must mournfully endure.

The pain..
The pain...
On which I thrive
Without it
I am not who I am
And with it
I will not be who I used to be
I evolve
This is what a broken relationship does to me.
But this time,
It is due to a shattered friendship
A friendship which eroded away in the desert wind
And which you successfully drowned in the seven seas
But it ain't totally dead yet
(Oh no it ain't!)
An ember still remains
Buried with the other rubble
In the bottom of my lovesick aching lonely heart.

Some say my later poems are even better, but this being my first, it always has a soft corner in my heart.